Stall Scribes

(This went into the print edition of the Mirror on 4/19, but I felt my blog readers would enjoy it as well.)

Many things grab our attention on campus.

Some of these things are talked about often, but others are not.

The other day when I was taking a bathroom break in the library and I happened to read the inside of the stall door.
"Wanna play toilet tennis? Look left," it read.
I thought to myself, "I never played toilet tennis."
Being the curious scholar that the Jesuits taught me to be, I looked left. With my chin on my left shoulder I read, "Look right." My head rotated on my neck toward the right only to be greeted by, "Look left." As I continued to follow the directions presented on both sides of the stall, I realized that I was now playing toilet tennis.

But some of the stalls' messages were not all fun and games.

One stall read, "I made the mistake of believing in someone for 3 years, Freshmen don't get a girlfriend until your senior year or upon graduation." Ouch. Good words of advice from a thoughtful guy.

What a great place to post relationship advice. Maybe we should meet with our advisers on the crapper.

Another situation came to my attention while I was sitting on the porcelain pool of my beloved Campion Hall fourth floor.

This time there was only one saying and it was located to my left:"Don't look here the real joke is between your legs." Now, it does not amaze me that some guy would be as immature as to think about what is in between the toilet occupant's legs.


What really has me scratching my head is, why would some go through the trouble to write about that?The method of 'stall scribing' features some clutch product placement.

Stall scribes are putting their stuff in the high traffic areas. Thanks Sodexho.

One of the loudest stalls on campus is Canisus' second floor men's room. This one stall includes: "If penis touches toliet, wash, disenfects and seek porn stardom immediately."

Another stall includes its own shorted version of the Ten Commandments:
1. Poop shall stink
2. You Shall Clog the Toilet
3. You Shall Make Grunting Noises
4. You Shall Wipe
5. You Shall Couresty Flush

Some of the scribes educated the public on alternative names for feces, calling them poop, lump fish and unleashing the demon.

Despite its mischievous upbringing, stall scribing brings up an interesting question: is graffiti OK if it's creative? The word graffiti simply means to write and has as many positive aspects as it does negative ones. If people enjoy graffiti, they will make it legitimate by dressing it up with a word like "mural."


Administrators will tell you that graffiti is damaging school property, but if it is intellectual (i.e. not "the joke in between your legs"), maybe it should be given a fair chance.We live in a world moving further away from our parents' world than ever before. The days of magazines are over.

Perhaps this is what FUSA Senator Nazar Kamenchenko '10 had in mind when his constituents said they need entertainment in the bathrooms.

Can you image a culture in which people go to the bathroom to get their news?

It's not that far off from the old days of bringing the paper to the can. No matter how much you read the stalls, just make sure you read The Mirror a little bit more.

I look forward to seeing what interesting observations these stall scribes will make as they continue to enlighten my day. I hope you will join me.